Thursday, November 28, 2024

The Day Joshua Turned Into Mickey Mouse


It was the year 2020 when my American buddy Joshua decided to pay a visit to Bodhgaya. Being the good friend he is, he stayed at a hotel my dad used to own but had since rented out to someone else who now runs it. We hung out for a bit, chatting and laughing, when suddenly Joshua got up and said, “Wait here, I’ve got something for you.”


A few minutes later, he came back with what looked like... a sticker? I squinted at it, utterly confused. “What is that?” I asked.

He grinned like he had just discovered the meaning of life. “This,” he said, “is LSD, a psychedelic drug. Trust me, my friend, this is going to blow your mind. All you have to do is place it on your tongue, wait 15 minutes, and welcome to heaven.”


“Okay,” I thought. “What could possibly go wrong?”


So there we were, two guys sitting in a room in Bodhgaya, holding this tiny piece of paper like it was some kind of golden ticket to another dimension. I put it on my tongue, exactly as he instructed, and waited. Fifteen minutes passed. I spat it out.


“Nothing,” I said. “Joshua, your magic sticker is broken.”


“Patience, my friend,” he replied like some kind of psychedelic prophet. “Give it a few more minutes. Trust me, you’ll feel special.”


And oh boy, did I feel special. Suddenly, he told me to put on my headphones and play some music. I did. And that’s when the magic hit me like a cosmic freight train. The music wasn’t just playing around me—it was playing inside me. I could feel the bass thumping in my ribcage and the melody vibrating in my teeth.


Then the walls started breathing. Yes, breathing, like they had tiny lungs. I looked over at Joshua, and—brace yourself—he looked like Mickey Mouse, but with this giant, wobbly head and a weirdly soothing smile. Everywhere I turned, it felt like I had stepped into Alice’s Wonderland, except everything was even weirder. I wasn’t sure if I was a character in a fairy tale or if I was the fairy tale.


After about an hour of this madness, nature called. I shuffled to the bathroom, fully expecting this to be a simple task. Spoiler: it wasn’t. I stood there, staring at the toilet, completely dumbfounded. How do you pee again? It was as if my brain had deleted that entire function. I tried to concentrate, but then the toilet bowl started swirling like a black hole. I panicked. Am I about to get sucked into the toilet?


I stayed in there for what felt like an eternity, having a deeply philosophical debate with myself about the mechanics of peeing. By the time I finally emerged victorious (yes, I figured it out), I was convinced I had transcended time itself.


When I got back to the room, I sat down and whispered to Joshua, “Everything is an illusion, my friend. Nothing is real. Consciousness is just... shifting energy.”


Joshua nodded like a wise sage. “Exactly, my friend.”


And that was it. I realized that everything I thought I knew about life was wrong. The walls were still breathing, but now it felt comforting. LSD didn’t just show me a different side of consciousness—it took my brain, flipped it upside down, and gave it a neon glow.


So here’s to Joshua—thank you for showing me the weirdest, most colorful, and downright absurd side of existence. Next time, though, maybe skip the Mickey Mouse transformation. That was a bit much.

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