The Dream of Life (Alan Watts)

If you awaken from this illusion and you understand that black implies white, self implies other, life implies death or shall i say death implies life. you can feel yourself. Not as a stranger in the world.
Not as something here on probation. Not as something that has arrived here by fluke.
But you can begin to feel your own existence as absolutely fundamental. I'm not trying to sell you on this idea in the sense of converting you to it. I want you to play with it. I want you to think of its possibilities. I'm not trying to provide it. I'm just putting it forward as a possibility of life to think about So then...
Let's suppose that you were able every night, to dream any dream you wanted to dream. And that you could for example have the power within one night to dream seventy five years of time. Or any length of time you wanted to have. And you would naturally, as you began on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfil all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure. And after several nights of seventy five years of total pleasure each, you would say "Well that was pretty great!"
"But now let's - let's have a surprise". "Let's have a dream which isn't under control". "Where something is going to happen to me but I don't know what it's going to be." And you would dig that And come out of that you'd say "Wow that was a close shave wasn't it?" Then you would get more and more adventurous and you would make further and further gambles to what you would dream. Finally you would dream where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today. That would be within the infinite multiplicity of choices that you would have. Of playing that you weren't God.
Because the whole nature of the God in you according to this idea, is to play that he's not. So in this idea then, everybody is fundamentally the ultimate reality, not God in a politically kingly sense, but God in the sense of being the self. The deep down basics, whatever there is. And you're all that. Only you are pretending your not.

The Mind (Alan Watts)

So then let's consider first of all what is a mind in the grip a vicious circles.
Well one of the most obvious instances that we all know is the phenomenon of worry.
The doctor tells you that you have to have an operation.
And that has been set up so that automatically everybody worries about it.
But since worrying takes away your appetite an your sleep it's not good for you.
But you can't stop worrying and therefor you get additionally worried that you are worrying.
And then furthermore because that is quite absurd and your mad at yourself because you do it,
you are worried because you worry because you worry.
That is a vicious circle. So now, can you allow your mind to be quite?
Isn't it difficult?
Because the mind seems to be like a monkey, jumping up and down and jabbering all the time. Once you've learned to think you can't stop. And an enormous number of people devote their lives to keeping their minds busy and feel extremely uncomfortable with silence. When you're alone
nobody's saying anything, there's nothing to do just this worrying, this lack of distraction.
I'm left alone with myself and I wanna get away from myself I always want to get away myself.
That's why I go to the movies, that's why I go to the biscuit stores,
that's why I go after girls or anything or get drunk or whatever.
I don't want to be with myself. I feel queer.
So well why do you wanna run away from yourself?
What's so bad about it?
Why do you want to forget this?
Why do you want to become yourself?
Because you are addicted to thoughts. This is a drug, too dangerous one.

Compulsive thinking, on an on and on and on all the time. It's a habit.
So there's a difficulty about stopping that activity.
And you really have to stop it if you want to be sane.
Because if I talk all the time I don't hear what anyone else has to say.
And I'll end up in the situation of having nothing to talk about but my own talking.
And so exactly the same way if I think all the time
I won't have anything to think about except thoughts.
So in order to have something to think about, there are times when you simply must stop thinking.
We;;, how do you do that?
The first tule is don't try to. Because if you do, you will be like someone trying to make a rough water smooth with flatiron. and all that will do will stir it up. So in the same way as muddy turbulent pool quiets itself when left alone, you have to know how to leave your mind alone. It will quiet itself.