Uncle Roberto and the Bedbug Chronicles

Chapter 1: Arrival in Bodhgaya

Uncle Roberto, an eccentric Italian gentleman with a love for Buddha and a dream of serenity, arrived at my Taj House in Bodhgaya last year. He wasn't here for a vacation—he was here to settle. The plan was simple: meditate under the Bodhi Tree, embrace tranquility, and live his remaining years in peace.

But his dream hit a bump on the very first night. As he lay down to sleep, his peace was shattered by an army of invincible foes: the bed bugs. Tiny, relentless, and surprisingly aggressive, they turned his restful night into a full-blown battle. Uncle Roberto spent the night slapping himself, muttering Italian curses, and pondering whether enlightenment could be achieved on zero sleep.

Chapter 2: The Great Bug Battle Begins

Morning brought a new hope—and a bottle of industrial-strength bug spray. With the determination of a medieval knight, Uncle Roberto doused his bed in chemicals. His announcement was bold: “Tonight, I sleep like Buddha himself.”

That evening, he approached his bed with the confidence of a man who had conquered his fears. But the bed bugs weren’t done yet. Immune to his spray, they returned with reinforcements. Uncle Roberto spent another sleepless night, torn between despair and disbelief. How could such tiny creatures hold such power?

Chapter 3: Google to the Rescue

Sleep-deprived and desperate, Uncle Roberto turned to his trusty digital guru, Google. After hours of scrolling through remedies, he found a solution that felt almost magical: baking soda. Bed bugs, he read, couldn’t survive it.

With renewed enthusiasm, he carried his bed outside, sprinkled baking soda like a chef seasoning pasta, and left it to bake in the sun. That night, he relocated to another room, dreaming of bug-free bliss. The next evening, convinced his troubles were over, he returned to his freshly seasoned bed.

Alas, the bugs were still there, laughing in tiny bug voices, mocking his efforts. Roberto began to wonder if they were gods in disguise, punishing him for sins unknown.

Chapter 4: The DIY Revolution

Frustrated but undeterred, Uncle Roberto decided to take matters into his own hands. He designed a new bed frame—simpler, sturdier, and painted a bold red, which he hoped would intimidate his enemies. After spending an entire day crafting and painting the bed, he set it aside to dry and slept on the floor like a minimalist monk.

The next night, his masterpiece was ready. He set it up with pride and slept on it, confident this was his final victory. But the bugs were relentless. They returned, as if saying, “Nice bed. We’ll take it.”

At this point, Uncle Roberto wasn’t sure if he should cry, laugh, or move back to Italy.

Chapter 5: The Exodus

By now, the bugs had broken Roberto’s spirit. He packed his bags, swore revenge, and declared he would return to Italy until a permanent solution could be found. “Next time,” he vowed, “I’ll be ready.” The bugs, however, seemed to revel in their victory, watching him leave like kings defending their castle.

Chapter 6: The Return of the Warrior

This year, Uncle Roberto came back to Bodhgaya, armed with knowledge and tools. He had duct tape—a simple yet bizarre solution he had learned online. Wherever the bugs bit him, he applied strips of tape to catch them. The process worked...though it also pulled off a few body hairs.

To the casual observer, Uncle Roberto now looked like an Egyptian mummy, walking around with tape covering random patches of his body. Yet, despite his efforts, the bugs persisted, like an unshakable karmic punishment.

Chapter 7: The Mystery of the Bug Vendetta

Strangely, no one else in the house seemed to have a bed bug problem. The pests had a peculiar loyalty to Uncle Roberto, as if they had some ancient grudge against him. Perhaps he’d offended their ancestors in a past life. Or maybe...the bugs were all in his imagination.

Roberto himself wasn’t sure anymore. “Are they real?” he once asked me. “Or is it me?” I didn’t have an answer. I was too busy trying not to laugh.

Chapter 8: To Be Continued...

Uncle Roberto’s story doesn’t have an ending—at least not yet. The bed bug saga continues, with new strategies, defeats, and moments of questionable sanity. One thing is certain, though: whether he’s battling real bugs or imaginary ones, Uncle Roberto has brought more drama and comedy to Bodhgaya than anyone else ever could.

And for that, I’m eternally grateful.